I'm an asshole and I apologize.
Has anyone ever considered how scary humans are?

We are not only brilliant, strong, and we have an extremely long life, but we enjoy animals for the defenses nature made for them. Extremely painful to eat? Mash it up with tomatoes, put it on chips, Salsa. 

11,771 plays

moriartyhastakenthetardis:

constantinejane:

Ohhhhh my fucking god I find this song extremely sexy.

This is one of the best renditions of that song ever.

This is for me. Not you.

Something I think I know about most girls on this site is that there is a sure fire move on them. Like they’re all “do you wanna frick frack- snick snack? Do you wanna do the do?” And all I have to do is get really close to them, have our noses almost touching, put on the most cold, emotionless face I have, and say in an intimidating voice, “No. I want to fuck.” Then kiss them softly.

One of my favorite statues in Boston.

One of my favorite statues in Boston.

I missed him the first time I saw him. In a different way, of course.

I missed him the first time I saw him. In a different way, of course.

I needed a profile pic. Decided to take one of my good side. Help me decide?

A story I’m writing

A child with a traumatic child hood, (mother leaves the father and father kills himself) becomes a sociopathic murderer for pure enjoyment. He then focuses on joining the police and catching himself to see which of his sides is smarter, the killer side or the detective side. There is a twist ending, of course.

thelegendofacloudbender:

avatargrace:

breakdatwall:

jinglebatch:

khaleesiofwonderland:

katandthebadwolf:

webothlikeabe:

psychosassic:

prince-of-irony:

fadeintocase:

rizzuoli:

infuriatingly-adorable:

rosemakara:

Sonic pen
The retailer"You’re laughturbating."

Sonic lighter
The Agent
"Laaaaaaaame."

sonic left foot
the nurse
"those are some tit cannons she can snipe with"

sonic rubiks cube
the producer
"like in any case of a fly being born there is a 2% chance their antennas will be arms, their wings will be antenna, their eyes will be legs, or any combination of those"

Sonic chain
The Artist
Jesus, this is some Bioshock shit, isn’t it?

sonic laptop
the comissioner
"I don’t know, probably"

Chair
IT Manager
"I’ll work extra longer tomorrow to make up for it if need be"

Sonic Phone.
The Mortician.
"Oh dear goodness she just needs to stop."

Sonic Remote
The Pilot
"Thank you for leaving your sweatshirt ;-*" Unless they mean last text in general even if you didn’t write it which would be "You’re welcome :-*"

Sonic PhoneThe Consultant"Ahhh yes, that’s it"

Sonic Camera
THe engineer
"More concerned with you icing it.  i shall grant it to you."

Sonic Starbucks The retired “It happened.”

Sonic Tardis Tea Cup
The Clerk
"Do you ever just (ART)"

Sonic Laptop
The Doctor
"I’m So so so Sorry." (My mom called me 3 times and I didn’t have my phone on me)

thelegendofacloudbender:

avatargrace:

breakdatwall:

jinglebatch:

khaleesiofwonderland:

katandthebadwolf:

webothlikeabe:

psychosassic:

prince-of-irony:

fadeintocase:

rizzuoli:

infuriatingly-adorable:

rosemakara:

Sonic pen

The retailer
"You’re laughturbating."

Sonic lighter

The Agent

"Laaaaaaaame."

sonic left foot

the nurse

"those are some tit cannons she can snipe with"

sonic rubiks cube

the producer

"like in any case of a fly being born there is a 2% chance their antennas will be arms, their wings will be antenna, their eyes will be legs, or any combination of those"

Sonic chain

The Artist

Jesus, this is some Bioshock shit, isn’t it?

sonic laptop

the comissioner

"I don’t know, probably"

Chair

IT Manager

"I’ll work extra longer tomorrow to make up for it if need be"

Sonic Phone.

The Mortician.

"Oh dear goodness she just needs to stop."

Sonic Remote

The Pilot

"Thank you for leaving your sweatshirt ;-*" Unless they mean last text in general even if you didn’t write it which would be "You’re welcome :-*"

Sonic Phone

The Consultant

"Ahhh yes, that’s it"

Sonic Camera

THe engineer

"More concerned with you icing it.  i shall grant it to you."

Sonic Starbucks The retired “It happened.”

Sonic Tardis Tea Cup

The Clerk

"Do you ever just (ART)"

Sonic Laptop

The Doctor

"I’m So so so Sorry." (My mom called me 3 times and I didn’t have my phone on me)

satanss-nipples:

ask-the-homestuck-crew:

smashing-articles-of-footwear:

spadesslick:

horror—terrors:

fun fact: If you separate the 4 and the 2 making them different numbers. Then translate them into Japanese  shi, and ni. Then put the words together, shini, it means death (shini-gami = god of death). So knowing that

The answer to the ultimate question… of life, the universe, and everything is…

death.

That fact is not fun.

Well, the number 4 in Japanese can also be translated to Yon. So if we have the words Yon and Ni and then put them together, it is yonni, which translates to nothing (as far as i know) in Japanese, however, in Sanskrit, it means vagina. 

So therefore, the answer to the ultimate question….of life, the universe, and everything is…

vagina

Life comes from the vagina only to be later greeted by death.

42

i just hit myself in the face my phone

Oh my god, I’m so fucking sick of this. When asked, Douglas Adams told the question. What is the sum of paradise.

This is a pun. One 6 sided dice has 21 dots total, with all sides added up. When you multiply it by 2, it’s 42. What is the sum of paradise? 42.

Jesus Fucking Christ, learn to google.

korranation:

HERE’S OUR BIG NEWS, STRAIGHT FROM JANET VARNEY! IF THIS POST GETS REBLOGGED 10,000 TIMES IN THE NEXT 12 HOURS, WE’LL RELEASE THE 1 HOUR BOOK 2 FINALE TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT EST ON NICK.COM!

No, seriously. Pick your jaw up off the floor! Catch “Night of A Thousand Stars” and “Harmonic Convergence” tonight at 8/7c on Nick…and then unlock the Book 2 finale episodes “Darkness Falls” and “Light in the Dark” online at midnight EST!

Let’s do this thing, Korra Nation!

Do it god dammit!

Time for a little something I created in my head a few days ago, called the “Just Fuck Already” Rant.

This goes out to all the people who are afraid what will happen to them if they are honest with their true feelings.

Maybe you’re a guy and you like another guy.

Maybe you’re a girl and you like another girl.

Maybe you’re a guy that wants to be a girl.

Maybe you’re a girl that wants to be a guy.

Listen, we are all the same person. The only real difference between us is who puts what in what.

But get over yourself. The world has it’s own problems. It has nuclear war, world hunger, and psychopaths going around killing people.

It doesn’t give a shit whether you have a vagina or a dick.

So do whatever the fuck you want.

If you’re a guy and the guy you love is next to you right now and he knows it, kiss him. Or fuck him, whatever.

Same to the girls. Kiss, fuck, whatever.

If they don’t know, tell them.

If you want to know, ask.

Just fuck already.

Let a dick fuck another dick in the ass.

Let a vagina fuck another vagina.

Let a vagina become a dick to fuck a vagina.

Let a dick become a vagina to get fucked by a dick.

Maybe you like fucking vaginas and fall in love with dicks.

Maybe you fall in love with vaginas but like getting fucked with dicks.

But the sexual tension all around the world is so thick I could cut it up and use it as alternate currency, so, everyone.

Please.

Please, for the love of god.

Fuck already.

Safely.

Wasn’t this a kids show, like, 5 years ago?
I’m not saying I don’t like it, but Nickelodeon,
The fuck, dude?

Wasn’t this a kids show, like, 5 years ago?

I’m not saying I don’t like it, but Nickelodeon,

The fuck, dude?

I’m the type of depressed where there are two people inside of me. An angry one, and a crying one and the angry one is beating up the crying one because he’s crying.